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    “Sometimes I have nothing to say”

    Several years ago, when I still had a working art studio in my house, the favorite thing to do of a friend’s child when the family came over was to go into the studio to see what I was painting.  I had just finished a piece on which I had painted the words, “Sometimes I have nothing to say.”  D was five or six at the time — just learning to read full sentences.  He chortled delightedly, pointed to the painting, and exclaimed, “I get it!  I get it!”

    As I have been studying and contemplating yoga philosophy in a group setting recently, I have been thinking about the tension between saying and not saying, the conundrum of yearning to communicate the indescribable, and the countervailing desire just to experience and not to try and describe or communicate.

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    “You Who Choose to Lead Must Follow,” Argentinian Tango, and the Dance of Shiva and Shakti

    On Friday night, Professor Douglas Brooks offered a satsang that was hosted by District Kula. One of the attendees, who said that she did no yoga, but taught Argentinian tango, wanted to know about what she had heard of yoga talking about the dance of masculine and feminine because that’s what tango is all about.

    Douglas gave a quick overview of the idea of the tattvas as a foundation for an answer to the tango dancer’s question. As part of this background, he discussed the numerological aspect of the tattvas, saying that Shiva and Shakti relate like this:  one is two becomes three becomes five. The two must separate, and the space between them makes three and teaches us the one.  Because of the spaces between, we do not have one to two to four, but two (one because inseparable) to three to five.  We know the one only when we know two, and the one is therefore part of three.   (“Lovely dance of numbers; that makes perfect sense,” I thought, having a happy geekfest in my own mind.  “I’ll enjoy pondering how that might be an explanation for there being five top tattvas and not six or four and wondering whether I had even begun finding an understanding, even though what Douglas was talking about is something I have been contemplating for years in various ways and contexts.)

    Douglas then led into a description of the inseparable, inextricably intertwined nature of Shiva and Shakti.  “It is like that in tango,” the dancer interjected at multiple points.  “The better the leader, the more he is listening to the follower, thus allowing the follower to be the leader.”  Each time Douglas refined his response, the dancer offered something else about her experience with tango.  “Right, when they are dancing well, the man takes on some of the characteristics of the feminine, and the woman that of the man.  The difference between them starts to dissolve into the dance itself.”  Her eyes lit up, and she bubbled up with speech, in her excitement at finding in the tantric philosophy what appeared to be an explanation of what she experiences in the tango.

    The tango dancer and the yoga texts assign specific roles and attributes to the masculine and the feminine, and we tend to fall into that tradition when we discuss the tantric philosophy.  As much as the traditional tantrika or tango dancer might say that the masculine and feminine (when embodied) take on/have characteristics of each other, they have assigned masculine/feminine roles to play, and they are still stuck in a paradigm that keeps real humans in assigned roles.  These assigned roles impact how male and female are permitted to act in society, regardless of any recognition that who is actually, rather than technically, in charge may be in flux on different levels.

    The paradigm of tango dancing kept Friday night’s discussion within the context of typical and rigid roles for male and female, but I do not think that is a required way for us to think of how to bring the tantric yoga philosophy into our lives.  When we think of the tattvas as abstract principles, we do not have to privilege in our lives or own thinking the traditional divide between male and female roles as the basis for understanding the play of opposites (though to be true to the text in its historical context we do).

    I believe that the dance of shiva and shakti is as much about the dance between the universal and multiplicitous individuality as it is about the specific play between masculine and feminine in assigned roles.  The one is two.  The two (one) separates into three; when the two separate we discover the one (two), and after that the three becomes five.  I remember a friend saying in our college days, “There are three of us in it:  there is me, there is my loved one, and then there is our relationship.”  To be in the world and relate fully, the tattvas (and dances with partners of either sex) teach us that two are inseparable by being in relationship.  By recognizing the appearance of separation, the dance of Shiva and Shakti tattvas shows us the relationship — the oneness.  Thus, all consciousness is one, but two, and then three, and yet still one.

    How this informs me, other than enjoyable thoughts in my head, is that when we try to be spaciously and openly aware in all of our relationships of this elemental play of individual identity, separability, and indivisible unity, we see the other in ourselves and ourselves in the other.   This helps much to inspire friendliness, understanding, and compassion.  It also helps bring understanding of the leader when we are following, which it makes it easier to follow with discrimination, but without judgment.  When it is our turn to lead, it helps us know that for those who might choose to or be required to follow us for some particular project, that to lead well we must listen to the followers.  As the the Grateful Dead taught me decades ago, “you who choose to lead must follow.”

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    Lady Macbeth (and Bhavana)

    The young woman sitting next to me on the train north from New York, who is impossibly tall and has lovely, strong features (i.e., is perfectly cast), is memorizing Lady Macbeth’s lines.

    I had on my own lap print-outs of mantras that Paul Muller-Ortega has invited us to memorize as part of our continuing studies.

    To enter the character of Lady Macbeth, one of the first steps is to memorize the lines, to know completely what she says and not just to hear it and appreciate it. Memorizing the lines is an essential part of the route to becoming Lady Macbeth.

    Paul Muller-Ortega has suggested that the reason to memorize various mantras is not to acquire them, not to be able to demonstrate a superficial knowledge or skill, but to aid in the profound practice of
    bhavana–deep contemplation at the heart level. It is not the fact of memorization, but the activity of memorizing. It is no accident that we call memorizing, “knowing by heart.” We seek to learn by heart to invite ourselves into the space of concentration that requires. It is a slow and difficult process for me. I persist, though, because of the deepening and expanding understanding it facilitates.

    I note for those yogis (and other readers) who might find the idea of learning mantras alien or uncomfortable or apparently at odds with your own religious beliefs or practices, that studying the mantras does not require or make one a Hindu. I think of it as an invitation to understand and embody the highest archetypes and principles they invoke and represent and compatible with my other observances.

    Peace and light, E — Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

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