Food for the Mind (Yoga Philosophy, etc)

Contemplations on readings and yoga philosophy.

  • | |

    Samskara (and the awesome and the awful)

    ByElizabeth

    Those of you who have been attending my classes for the past couple of weeks already know that my overall theme for the fall session is cultivating a sense of wonder (abhuta). Feeling wonder is one aspect of the Anusara principle of “opening to grace.” It is seeing who we are and what we are within space and time with a sense of amazement at the limitations and the foibles, as well as the strengths and delights.

    This week I was thinking about abhuta in the context of samskara — the markings or grooves or scars in our being from how we have lived our lives (and perhaps past lives, if those were also lived by us — personally not sure about that). I had a dialogue earlier this week that resulted from over 110 years of combined history that was not optimal. Reflecting on the precipitating factors, though, and marveling at the web of history, environment, education, and action that combined to give rise to the conversation led me to a sense of wonder indeed. It is by cultivating the ability to step back and appreciate the wondrousness of the dance that we learn from a steady practice that, I think, can help make it possible to shift in how we behave and react to things.

    From a physical perspective, most of our challenges and difficulties are based on what we have done with and in our bodies over the course of our lives. We use the yoga alignment principles to create new grooves and to shift from the old repetitive patterns, so that we can not only alleviate pain and misalignment, but to expand the possibility of discovering ever more joy and wonder in and through our bodies and senses. Both the physical and meditation practices help us shift similar patterns (dissolve and transform samscaras and their impact), so that instead of deepening old grooves, we erase or dissolve them and create new life-enhancing ones.

    It may seem odd to marvel at our stuff, especially when it does not appear to be serving us, but keep in mind that both the awesome and the awful, being both all about awe, can give rise to a recognition of the great and exquisite mysteries of being.

  • |

    Tropical Storm

    ByElizabeth

    We’ve had many inches of rain today, strong winds, and tornado warnings. This morning I got a call from my handy man that the drain under my back porch was stopped up and the basement was about to flood. He should not have been at the house. The work was supposed to have been done a couple of weeks ago, but a host of different occurrences got in the way. He only checked the back patio (he was working on something in the upstairs bathroom) because he had installed my rain barrel and wanted to make sure it was working properly (a story goes with that too). I left the office so I could go home and bail and monitor. The handy man wasn’t able to clear the drain with a snake, but bailing it out and then using the handle end of a rake cleared it out.

    It is almost midnight and another band of heavy rain has been moving slowly through the area. I’ve gone outside a few times, but it all now seems fine. I’m hoping it will stay ok so that I can go to bed without worry.

    I said to the hany man that his having been here today was part of the mysterious workings of the goddess of sequencing; it saved me from a flood in the tenant’s apartment. He said, that’s great, but it does not justify my procrastination. My point to him is that we never know when something that seems like a problem may turn into a blessing. His point to me is that just because things turned out for the best does not mean we can abdicate our personal responsibility for our own actions.

    As I listen to a month’s worth of rain coming down in a few hours, I am reminded how lucky I am to have such things be my challenges, when so many are suffering.

  • | | |

    Last Night I Slept At My Parents House (and akrama)

    ByElizabeth

    I slept last night in the room that I slept in as a child. My mother now uses the room to store some of the vestiges of her old antiquing business. The carpet, wallpaper, and curtains from the 1960’s are gone, but the bed is the same one in which I had slept. The picture on the wall is a kit for making a stuffed animal that my Grandma Rose had bought me (probably when I was about 8) at the Brooklyn Museum of Art that my mother decided would be better as framed art than a sewing project for me.

    The neighborhood looks different–it is far more developed as is everywhere near a big city–but the bones are the same.

    It is a challenge not to feel the weight of my history and ancestry when I return. Taking the time to meditate when I woke helped me stay fully in my adult self.

    When we meditate, we ideally dissolve our individual consciousness into the luminous spaciouness of universal consciousness. In that space, where we are temporarily not experiencing ourselves as an individual, we are also not experiencing our individual self in the sequence (krama) of time. The luminous spaciousness of meditative consciousness is sequenceless (akrama) and, as universal consciousness, is the place in which the sequences of being in time and space arise.

    What I experienced this morning when I meditated was that I did not have to be flooded with the emotions of my, to try to graciously describe, emotionally challenging childhood. In the space of meditation I could bring to my day an acceptance of all of my life and be where I am at present, coming to a place of recognition that although I lived all of my history, it neither defines me nor binds me from expanding into a space of growing love and light.

  • | |

    A Correspondence on Charitable Contribution to Aids Walk DC

    ByElizabeth
    I print the correspondence below not so much to ask you to give, nor to let you know that I made a donation, but to initiate a discussion on what motivates you to make a donation of money?  What about of time?  They have different practical calculations, depending on whether time or money is of more relative importance or shortage  (real or apparent) at the time of the giving?  Does it make you more likely to give if you have a personal connection to the cause?  Does getting personal satisfaction from giving make it somehow not a fully spiritual act? [I’ll try and blog on the last in future posts].
    Dear Friends,
    On Friday, Sept. 17, 2010 I thought I sent 30 targeted e-mails from my AIDSWALK webpage to former and potential donors to this annual fundraising event. Unfortunately, I did something wrong and the messages were never sent. With time very short, I’m sending this “broadcast” message to the listserve in the hope that some of you who have not already sent a donation from my initial appeal will do so now. For those of you who have already donated now is the time to delete this message.
    IF YOU WANT TO MAKE A DONATION DIRECTLY TO MY AIDSWALK WEBPAGE, PLEASE OPEN THE ATTACHED APPEAL LETTER AND FIND “FOLLOW THIS LINK” WHICH WILL TAKE YOU DIRECTLY TO THE SITE SO YOU CAN MAKE A DONATION.
    This year’s walk is benefiting about 15 different organizations that assist people with HIV/AIDS, in addition to Whitman-Walker Clinic.
    Thanks for all the support you’ve given in the past,
    Joe Izzo
    Help us fight the epidemic! REGISTER for AIDS Walk TODAY! We look forward to seeing you on October 2nd! www.aidswalkwashington.org

    Joseph

    In response to this plea, I clicked on the link to make a donation to the AIDs Walk.  Joe graciously sent me a thank you note, and I responded as follows:
    E to Joe

    Thank you Joe.  I have been giving to WWC since the late 1980s.  When I was in my 20s and 30s I had close friends die of AIDs or go through the tribulations of the early drug trials for HIV.  I like that I can now give in a more personal way.

    Peace and light,
    Elizabeth

  • | | |

    The Search Continues (based on some dreaming)

    ByElizabeth

    In 2000 or 2001, shortly before I started practicing Anusara yoga, a teacher who regularly played music in class, played for us a recording of Alice Coltrane singing a tantric chant to Siva and the Goddess Bhuvaneshvari.  I only heard the chant once while we were in savasana — corpse pose/final relaxation.  Although I only heard the chant once, for several months afterwards, I found myself having a recurring dream that I was wondering in a neighborhood that looked like the one where I grew up and went to high school and chanting the full chant.  At the time I merely found it curious that I seemed to have learned the sanskrit just by hearing the chant one time.  I have since learned that the recording may have been done right near my high school; that is where the Coltrane’s had a recording studio.  I also learned that the chant was a tantric chant.  At the time, my teachers were coming from a classical yoga perspective.  Did I actually learn the chant by osmosis?  Was having the very vibration of the chanting near where I lived and studied the catalyst for me, as a receptive being, discovering a path of tantric yoga?

    I have found other recordings of the chant.  One is Atman’s “Dancing to the Goddess” on the Eternal Dance CD, which is an electronica version.  The other is Ragani’s “Om Mata” on the Best of Both Worlds, which is a very nice kirtan/pop version.  I have several of Alice Coltrane’s recordings, which are great jazz, if you aren’t familiar with Alice Coltrane as a fabulous musician in her own right.  Recently I searched again on the internet to see if the bootleg had become available.  There was nothing on YouTube (though some good Alice Coltrane things to watch).    I bought Alice Coltrane’s “Radha-Krsna Mana Sankirtana,” which was originally recorded in 1977 (when I was in high school) and reissued in 2005, as I thought that was a promising source.  It has some good things on it, but no luck finding the recording I wanted to hear.

    The chant goes like this:

    Samba sadasiva, samba sadasiva, samba sadasiva, samba shambo.

    Om mata, om mata, om sri mata, jagade mata.

    Om bhuvaneshvari, sri bhuvaneshvari, hari parashakti, devi bhuvaneshvari.

    It is a chant to the benevolent, auspicious one within, the radiant goddess, the creatrix of the world.  Bhuvaneshvari is one of the ten wisdom goddesses.

    Please advise if you have access to the Alice Coltrane or another recording of this beautiful chant.

  • | | |

    The Great Game: Afghanistan

    ByElizabeth

    I am writing this from the terrace area of the Shakespeare Theater, in between parts two and three of “The Great Game: Afghanistan.”. It is a testament to the quality of the writing, acting, and production that we still feel ready for the third set of plays. What “The Game” emphasizes, whomever authored the segment or what moment in history is being emphasized is that we are all connected and that if we do not learn from our history, we are destined to repeat ourselves and so suffer.

    I am certain that there is little that I can do as an individual to prevent history repeating itself in Afghanistan (though I write letters to President Obama on occasion). I can, however, pay attention to the lesson here with regard to my own, individual life. I can strive to unravel and dissolve old patterns from my history and to create new patterns that will better serve me. In asana practice, I seek therapeutically to realign the physical body and the energetic body so that old pains and struggles do not continue to interfere with my living as fully, joyously, and expansively as I can in my body. Through meditation, I seek to know the true joy of being and to have the light of consciousness illuminate how I respond to people and events. When I can do this, I have the choice not to create new hurts and problems that are just like the old ones.

    What I know from my own practice and life is that not repeating history is hard, but it is what gives the possibility of living in true freedom. Is it enough to work on just my own self not repeating history? Do we need to try and bring shifts to larger patterns to truly be of service? I do not know the answer to the latter question, but I do know that the duty to try and shift myself is not just for me, but extends beyond me, like the ripples extending out from a pebble thrown into a pond.

  • Non-Attachment v. Detachment

    ByElizabeth

    There is a profound difference between being detached, being separate, and not participating fully or at all and being fully engaged in activities but not being attached to the outcome.  Sometimes, after I have a fantastic time, I remember the suffering that can follow from longing for more, and I wonder whether it was worth it.  I have such thoughts only fleetingly.  The more I practice yoga and the attendant non-attachment to particular future outcomes based on past experience and desire, the more I am able to exult in what the present has to offer.

  • |

    A Dream I Won the Lottery

    ByElizabeth

    I dreamed last night that I won 30 million dollars in the lottery. I had no recollection of having bought a ticket (in waking life the only time I ever bought a ticket was 17 or 18 years ago as part of a 15-person group of co-workers who collectively bought two tickets when the prize was 75 million; we were going to quit en masse if we won).

    In the dream, an acquaintance also won the same amount. She immediately quit her job and started engaging in activities about which she had previously only imagined doing.

    On learning of my windfall, I stopped and paused and found that I didn’t want too much change right away. I deliberated about whether to take a lump sum or an annuity and to whom I would give the money. I wondered whether I could take a couple of months leave and then go back to my job part-time. I thought about whether I would like to move or set up a charitable foundation or teach yoga full-time. I found that after having been given financial freedom, I was still content to work and to live comfortably, but relatively modestly. I wanted to take time to deliberate where I could make the best offering with this outrageous stroke of luck.

    The dream reminded me of the Zen proverb that was popularized in the 1970s: “Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water; after enlightenment; chop wood, carry water.” What was beautiful about my dream was a sense of a deep acceptance, a sense that even with my desire to grow and change for the better, that in my middle age, I am essentially comfortable with how I am living. I will keep seeking a deeper and more loving and compassionate way of being, even as I recognize that there is no prize that will transform me from the challenges of being human.