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    “I See It Every Morning” (and Jnanam Bandaha) (DWTD)

    ByElizabeth

    When I walked out of the back of the hotel through the pool area just after day break, one of the pool side assistants was out getting things ready for the guests. “Windy,” he said, as I was wrapping and knotting my meditation shawl around my neck into the face of a strong breeze coming from offshore. “But look,” I replied, pointing to the sun rising over the ocean, “it’s so beautiful!”

    “I see it every morning,” he answered, partly with a shrug of weariness and partly with a grin of delight. I guessed he was in his mid 50s–hard for me to tell, his skin was so leathery from the sun. Probably an old stoner surfer was my thought, and the shrug of resignation was for the fact that taking care of the lounge chairs and umbrellas for endless legions of tourists was what he needed to do to eat and still be with his dearest love–the sea and the sun. The smile was for the sun and the sea itself and to be able to share their beauty once again with someone who is seeing them with fresh delight.

    During the course this week of study, we spent time discussing the Shiva Sutras. The second sutra–jnanam bandahah–literally means “knowledge is bondage.”

    “Why do we automatically assume bondage is a negative?” John asked us at one point. Any time we make a choice, we are to some extent binding ourselves because we are, by making a choice and being limited by space and time as we are in this human form, forgoing other possibilities.

    The Sutras also say that knowledge is freedom. Though the sanskrit words are different for the knowledge that binds (limited knowledge) and knowledge that leads us to freedom (highest knowledge or knowledge of the divine), using logic equations, one could say that if knowledge is bondage and knowledge is freedom, then at some level, bondage, too, is freedom.

    If the pool side attendant regards himself as being utterly beaten down by his job, feels stuck with drudgery because he had nothing else he could do to survive, and then forgets about the beauty surrounding him, that would be an example of knowledge constricting or limiting us, putting us into bondage that takes us away from spirit.

    If, on the other hand, he looks at the ocean each morning with joy in his heart and recognizes that he chose his job to be able to be with the ocean and sun every day, that would be knowing that bondage can actually free us (in our limited form) to dwell in and from the heart.

    What the tantric yoga and meditation practices that come out of such teachings as the Shiva Sutras are designed to do, is to help us find the freedom in our limitations, to make choices in our associations and actions — our bindings — that lead us to love and wonder rather than disappointment and fear.

    What do you choose?

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    Nourishment

    ByElizabeth

    I am deeply grateful that I can soothe myself with food. I made basil, garlic chive pesto last summer when the garden was at its height and froze some (before adding cheese). The sourdough starter needs to be used at least a couple of times a month. I made enough dough to have a personal pizza four or five times. Finally got the crust both crunchy and chewy.

    I could mention that work is busy, I am continuing to refine and expand making reparations and seeking decency and justice, and I am participating in an on-line meditation retreat with an hour of practice at noon every day this week.

  • How Tired is Too Tired to Go to Class?

    ByElizabeth

    Last week after Thursday night’s restorative class (just two left in the series–drop-ins welcome), one of my students said that now that class was over she was glad she had come.  “I wondered whether I was too tired to come,” she said.  “Before I came, I was tired, but not relaxed; now I am relaxed, but not tired.”

    It is knowing whether our practice will give us the shift between tired, but not relaxed and relaxed, but not tired that tells us whether we are really too tired to go to class (or practice on our own at home). 

    What does it mean to be too tired to practice?  When sick or jetlagged or injured, a strong asana practice can be risky.  If your regular class is a challenging one and you are tired, consider taking an easier class or doing your own practice rather than just not doing at all or trying to muscle your way through a class that feels wrong for the day.  Try starting with a restorative or self-massage or gentle meditative movements and see whether being softer and more exploratory of your state brings in new energy that leads you to move towards a more energetic practice or whether it shows that you are truly exhausted and getting progressively quieter until savasana (final relaxation) is the best possible option.  If you go to class, let the teacher know that you are going to be backing off and why.  Most teachers are happy you have come and will be supportive of your taking care of yourself.

    When a goal of practice is to become increasingly more sensitive and aware of our state of being and is less about achieving certain poses or levels of fitness or getting a certain amount of exercise, then we will have fewer days when we think that we are too tired to practice.  On days we are especially tired from the demands of the day, we can always invite our practice be an exploration of how fatigue is manifesting itself and what will help us on any given day relax, revive, and deeply rest.  For modern living-in-the-world yogis, that can be a truly nourishing way to practice and enhance life.

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