Reminder to Self


This morning when I stepped out into the back garden, I heard the sound of clippers on the other side of the fence. It was my back garden neighbor of over 15 years. “Is that you?” I asked. “Yes,” was the reply and we both walked up onto our decks so we could see across the fences. “It must be summer,” my neighbor said, in acknowledgment of it being the first morning of the season we coincided in the garden. “I am so ready,” he said, and we caught up with the winter news and discussed what was going on in our gardens. I told him about Becky, marveling at her wonderful long life of 21 years. “It was time, then,” he commented. “I still miss her, though,” I replied.
Yesterday, several people said to me that they were not ready for summer. Whether people were ready (or not) for the 90 degree weather seemed to depend a lot a preference cold or warm weather.
It hardly matters whether we are ready for a shift in the seasons, the loss of a precious being, or the arrival of gray hairs and degenerative arthritis (I am finding myself not ready for any of these, really).
Life comes to us, ready or not. We can use our yoga practice, especially asana, to help us expand and shift and be prepared for whatever comes, by inviting all of our practice and our growth (which includes both expansion and contraction) a rich exploration. We can experiment with where is our edge, listening to both ourselves and our teachers to discover not only what we are ready for, but also how we react when confronted with that for which we think we are not ready. By seeking the subtle knowledge of when our mind is ahead of our body and when our mind is holding back our body, we can enhance our ability to respond to what comes in the most open, sensitive, discriminating, flexible, and thus, life-enhancing way, on and off the mat.
In the meantime, I give in to the premature summer heat. This morning, I picked spinach and herbs to go with mushrooms from the fresh farm market for breakfast and made a posy of pansies for the altar. Why leave them in the garden if they will just wilt in the heat? It was a great afternoon for a siesta and a treat to be out in the city in the morning unencumbered by sweater or jacket. For my evening practice, I will emphasize deep, cooling forward bends and pranayama. Will I be ready for the cool days to come back at the end of the week? I do not think I will have a choice.
I am writing this post as I sit on the Metro platform at Takoma, waiting for a train back to Union Station. There were already dozens of people waiting when I got here. I have been here for ten minutes or so, and there is no time posted on the board yet for the next train.
Some people are talking on their phones or socializing with each other. Some are pacing back and forth. Some look resigned. Some are going into tirades about the problems with Metro. Some are reading and have made themselves more or less at home where they are.
I sit cross-legged, basking in the sun, blogging for now, and if time permits also in my journal. I could be angry or impatient or annoyed, but it would not get me home any sooner. So I just find enjoyment of the waiting time with the materials at hand.
Although there are circumstances where physical pain or suffering cannot be avoided, yoga can help us find a greater sense of equanimity when we are challenged. As John Friend reminded us this week in a different context, “in a large part, it will be seen that the suffering is optional.”
I now approach Union Station. Perhaps when I get home I will supplement this post with appropriate citations to Patanjali. Or maybe I will play with the cats and pick some grrens from the garden for dinner.
I am in the middle of reading a book about a movement/organization centered on one of those forms of meditation that was brought to the West by an Eastern spiritual leader and drew millions of followers around the globe in the 1960’s and 70’s and beyond. One of the things in the book reminded me of something said to me several years ago by a long-time practitioner of a similar practice, with a different leader. This practitioner had said, as if he had discovered an actual truth for his meditation practice, that he had learned from the organization and movement that as long as one meditated, it was OK to be a jerk. At the time, I had two reactions: (1) surely that cannot be right; and (2) it is such statements that make people at best skeptical of meditation and the kind of people who invite others to meditate.
What triggered this memory was a statement in the book, attributed to the spiritual leader, that it does not matter what you do to make the world better if you are not also working on yourself.
Taken literally, I suppose someone who behaves like a jerk and an irresponsible and callow citizen could use it to feel good about himself for meditating and continuing not to care about relationships to others and the planet, but I do not think that was the intent of the teaching.
The yoga teachings require us to work on ourselves, which includes how we are in relationship to the world. If we are trying to “do good” for the world, but still treat ourselves and our intimates badly, we will not be the best we can be because we will still be far from individual enlightenment. In that limited sense, it does not matter if we are a “do gooder,” but only in that very limited sense. Also, if we slip up and do something jerk-like, it is said that a guru (for those that have one), like a true friend or loving family member, would not reject a sincere devotee for the slip-up, but would just point again to where the practitioner needs to go on the path. The enlightened guru would still see the good in the devotee, however much work might remain for him or her.
If we act like jerks and irresponsible and uncaring citizens we are not seeing the divine (whatever that means to you) in all beings and acting in recognition of that universal divinity, which is the point of the practices. We are also building up negative karma that imprints itself and makes our spiritual work that much more challenging. But we are not booted off the path, and we are still worthy of love if we slip up. Thus does it not matter; but truly, it matters a lot.
Peace and light, E — Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.