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In the Garden
I spent a delightful couple of hours in the garden with the birds this morning before heading up to teach at Willow Street. I weeded and dead-headed and watered. The birds and I both ate grapes right off the vine. Every year since this vine started to fruit, birds that are not here the rest of the year have appeared for the few weeks the grapes are ripening. I imagine that there is a bird listserve where some bird posts that Goodman’s grapes are ready. Come and get them. Neither my presence nor the cats on the screened porch deters them. The grapes are too delicious for them to allow their natural caution to interfere with immediate access.
Me, I know that I am a spoiled, middle-class urban gardener. If my survival depended on getting the whole harvest (as opposed to a large handful of grapes daily for three or four weeks), I would be fending off the birds instead of enjoying their presence. The squirrels and the tomatoes–that’s another matter altogether.
Peace and light, E — Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.
- Art and Culture | Asana, Pranayama, and Yoga Practice | Food for the Mind (Yoga Philosophy, etc) | Meditation | Miscellaneous (blog matters, etc) | Photos
Curiouser and Curiouser…
Last night, I took some lovely photos in the rain when I was walking to get a massage (it is pretty awesome to get a massage on a Monday night; try it sometime and see how it changes your perspective on the work week). After I came home and had dinner, I resisted the temptation to curl up on the sofa with a book. Instead, I got on the computer to take care of email correspondence that had accumulated over the day and the weekend while I was at the workshop with John Friend. I uploaded the photos from my walk and tried to post an entry. I got a message when I was in WordPress saying that the photo upload had failed. I exited from that screen and tried to access the file uploader. I could not get in. I then exited the prompt that I had failed. It would not let me cancel. Next, I exited the admin portion of my blog. The computer was not happy about that, but eventually it seemed to close the program. After that, I could not get back either to my public page nor to the admin page. I tried several times, but to no avail. I sent an email to my website designer–could she get in?
I woke to an email from my website designer saying no problems for her. After I did my morning practice and before heading into the office, I tried again. On my home computer, no access at all to either the public or administrative portions of the site. I reloaded Firefox. That did not do the trick. I scanned my computer, but it showed no errors. I have access to the blog from my Blackberry, my office computer, and my IPad, but not from my home computer–my central place, the place where all my files and photos and bookmarks and maximum computer capabilities are one.
As Alice (in Wonderland) would say, “curiouser and curiouser.” I am sure with research and trying lots of alternatives, we will find a solution to this peculiar glitch.
I think staying fully connected to the ultimate loving ground of our being can feel like this strange denial of access to my blog. We get glimpses. We have studied enough to know what it is on an intellectual basis. We feel connected when we are at a big workshop (or sometimes it looks like every one else has found the bliss and we are the only ones who are not tapping in–note to self, usually that’s not true) or are in class or practicing, but not when we get challenged by daily life.
Two things serve to bring us back to center–the first is to keep practicing and making the effort, just as expanding knowledge and trying different strategies will get me back my full blog access; the second is grace (and being open to receive it). And when grace comes, we then need to keep practicing so that we stay connected and can live in and from grace more and more of the time and remember and reconnect more easily when we get disconnected.
Peace and light, E — Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.
Construction and Reconstruction
I have lived in my house for almost 20 years. The house came with a bottom of the line, circa 1977 Hechinger’s bathroom. The bathtub has been rusting for a over a decade, part of the faucet would come off when turning it off, etc.
Finding myself without any pets and between tenants, it seemed like a good time to renovate. Last week, in just a day, what was a bathroom, is now a gutted space. Amazing how quickly something can be rooted out and undone. It will be taking a lot longer to reconstruct.
What I am finding most challenging is not the physical chaos. I am used to it as an old house often needs work, and this house needed work (though it was not the kind of fixer-upper that was completely missing floors, electricity, and plumbing).
Rather, what I am wrestling with is my emotional reaction to the idea of having a brand new, beautiful bathroom. There is a big feeling guilty component to be spending money on something that feels not entirely necessary when so many are in need. So while the contractor is working on the construction, I am working with a wonderful opportunity to help reconstruct (post deconstructing) my emotional relationship with things. How do I find balance between honoring those in need, my impact on the planet, maintaining my house, and my enjoyment of beautiful things? How do I feel at peace with my decisions once they already have been made? How do I apply discrimination in my aesthetics to assist in this balance?





