Seeking
Illumination
In the depths,
I catch mySelf
In the mystery
Of reflection.
I invite you to ponder, dear yogins, why I have titled this “pratyabijna” and not “vimarsa.”
Peace and light, E — Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.
I don’t talk much about my front garden because it is not as exciting for me as the back garden with its edibles and herbs. I give a sincere effort to make the front garden beautiful and welcoming since it is my interface with the neighborhood and all who walk past my house. The front is very shady and two maple trees block the rain and drink most of the water that gets past the leaves, so it has taken some effort to find plants that thrive. Much of what is in my garden comes from other gardening friends. Plants that come from friends near-by are likely to do well moved down the street. As my garden has matured, it has needed divisions, thus giving me an opportunity to share, in turn, with younger friends and neighbors. It thus nourishes in important ways, though it offers nothing to eat.
It is a good thing, I think, to do what one can to prepare for eventualities, to take reasonable precautions. It is not optimal, though, to allow fear and anxiety prevent us from living fully each day. I choose to continue to face fear and discomfort in my asana practice, as well as just doing the poses for which I have an innate affinity. I practice poses that bring up fear, dislike, discomfort, and general aversion. I do not ignore my fears and discomforts. I learn why I have them; I practice more assiduously the preparatory strengthening or stretching poses that will give me more support in the deeper poses, so that I can be in a place where I know when my fears are appropriate cautions and when they are unnecessary anxiety.
By practicing the poses that are scary and uncomfortable and learning how to stay grounded, present, and even joyous while doing so, I have learned a lot about how to live in away that optimizes my health (physical, emotional, spiritual, and financial) and the health of those around me, without letting fear, worry or discomfort about dangers, limitations, and pitfalls limit my ability to live fully and generously with a care for the suffering and joys around me. Yes, I took extra care to wash my hands last night right before I started teaching a pre-natal class, but I cannot stop going out and enjoying the spring days or getting my work done for fear of swine flu; I am currently healthy. I am not going to stop supporting local businesses because there is a recession; I still have a steady job and have no reason to curtail my spending, and I have always lived within my income.
Peace and light, E — Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.
It’s almost time for Wednesday evening house yoga practice, and I still have my work computer on and open to a couple of documents that I need to review by Monday morning.
I try a practice from the non-violent communication course I have been taking: Since I cannot change the work situation in the short term, I am choosing to think about what needs are being met by my feeling compelled to work by the enormity of upcoming deadlines instead of getting to enjoy the two hours of administrative leave granted in honor of Thanksgiving.
I come up with this tentative list: it is good to feel needed, to be engaged, to experience a sense of competence and responsibility. As I am working from home, I get peaceful quiet and solitude while still feeling connected through the work. This does not mean that I don’t want or shouldn’t take action to change my work situation to better meet other needs, or even these needs better.
I am truly grateful that I am being brought to my yoga mat for an hour and a half tonight and that I’m looking forward to a weekend of friends and food and walks (and more work).
I wish you all the best holiday possible. May you experience gratitude.
Look forward to a longer newsletter and a new look to the website in coming weeks.
