Prakasha-Vimarsha
I used to note the first day of winter as a marker of the long, cold and dark season ahead. Now I mark the first day after the solstice as the an opening to the light. In only a few weeks, even though the weather will be wintry, the days will be noticeably longer. This time of year, I walk on the sunny side of street and choose the middle of the day to be outside, in contrast to summer, when I walk in the morning or late afternoon on the shady side of the street. When I went out at midday for a long walk, the light was almost blindingly bright. The blazing sun seemed that much more of a treasure for the cold blustering wind and the shortness of the day. That the light was so clear and vivid seemed an apt reminder that going through periods of cold and dark can clear us for newly illuminated paths if we are only open to the sources of illumination — inside and out.
The other day I found myself wondering how and whether my life would have been different if at 20 I had been introduced to the writings of Abhinavagupta instead of those of Derrida.
It is always interesting to contemplate “what might have beens,” as long as it does not invite regret or disappointment. I might have continued as a philosopher instead of shifting to law or have practiced yoga with greater intensity earlier on if I had been reading Abhinavagupta instead of Derrida, but who is to know what really could or would have happened if things had been different. We need to act as though we can shift and change, but we must at the same time accept that we are ultimately not in charge.
