Samsara


I was working with photos today and came across this shot a friend took a little over a year ago. Long gone is the memory of exactly why I did not stay fully in the pose. Perhaps this was the beginning, and I was planning to plant my hand, lift my shoulder and hug my shoulder blades onto my back, and then do enough inner spiral and kidney loop to float off the ground. Possible, as I have been known to get into asta vakrasana going from the ground up. More likely, my exit strategy of the moment was releasing all the way to the floor. What I like about this picture is that it shows me having a really good time, not me being a failure for not being perfectly in the pose. Though it is always worth striving for the best we can do, for most things in life, the best we can do is try for the full pose and then find the joy and the beauty when we don’t end up embodying our notion of what should have been.
The indoor plants have been multiplying. When the pandemic is no longer keeping me home most of the time, I might find there are more than I can care for well.

Patanjali provides in the Yoga Sutras (2.32) that the second niyama, samtosha (contentment) is an ongoing practice. It is not something that we can expect to arise on its own and if not, lament its absence.
I feel hope, without which it would be hard to experience contentment, too, is something that requires steady practice.
My personal experience is that only thing that gives me hope when I am feeling despondent about the state of things is to do something, whether it is giving resources or time or connecting and expanding community.
What about you?
Several years ago, when I still had a working art studio in my house, the favorite thing to do of a friend’s child when the family came over was to go into the studio to see what I was painting. I had just finished a piece on which I had painted the words, “Sometimes I have nothing to say.” D was five or six at the time — just learning to read full sentences. He chortled delightedly, pointed to the painting, and exclaimed, “I get it! I get it!”
As I have been studying and contemplating yoga philosophy in a group setting recently, I have been thinking about the tension between saying and not saying, the conundrum of yearning to communicate the indescribable, and the countervailing desire just to experience and not to try and describe or communicate.