The lotuses are in bloom.
I have lived in my house for almost 20 years. The house came with a bottom of the line, circa 1977 Hechinger’s bathroom. The bathtub has been rusting for a over a decade, part of the faucet would come off when turning it off, etc.
Finding myself without any pets and between tenants, it seemed like a good time to renovate. Last week, in just a day, what was a bathroom, is now a gutted space. Amazing how quickly something can be rooted out and undone. It will be taking a lot longer to reconstruct.
What I am finding most challenging is not the physical chaos. I am used to it as an old house often needs work, and this house needed work (though it was not the kind of fixer-upper that was completely missing floors, electricity, and plumbing).
Rather, what I am wrestling with is my emotional reaction to the idea of having a brand new, beautiful bathroom. There is a big feeling guilty component to be spending money on something that feels not entirely necessary when so many are in need. So while the contractor is working on the construction, I am working with a wonderful opportunity to help reconstruct (post deconstructing) my emotional relationship with things. How do I find balance between honoring those in need, my impact on the planet, maintaining my house, and my enjoyment of beautiful things? How do I feel at peace with my decisions once they already have been made? How do I apply discrimination in my aesthetics to assist in this balance?
This article about manners and eating with ones hands gave me a big smile. One of my friends who went on the second India pilgrimage wrote on Facebook right after she returned home that she missed wearing a sari and eating thali meals already. How wonderful the variety of experience on these journeys. Personally, I found the sari cumbersome and binding and not worth the prettiness of the fabric and the compliments (more thoughts on sari-wearing perhaps to come). I was thrilled to get back into my regular clothes (though I was happy enough in salwar kameez). Dal , kitcheree (spiced lentils and rice porridge), and vegetarian/vegan curries have long been a staple part of my diet, so I am already getting the rice and lentils, and the south Indian thali meal is almost completely devoid of vegetables. I was happy enough to get back to my own diet, including Indian-style food of my own preparation.
I am missing, though, being able to be in company and eat with my hands (or hand singular would be more accurate as it is horribly rude in India to eat with your left hand) and getting the chance to walk barefoot outside every day. Though you might not be able to do it everywhere, I highly recommend eating some of your food with your hands and walking without your shoes for some time every day to enhance your sense of touch and your motility.
They still taste pretty green even after they turn red. But I had to bring them inside.
