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Unsolicited Advice or Helpful Guidance

The other day I was visiting with a friend who finds themselves with sudden responsibilities that are complicated and challenging.

As is my general inclination, especially when talking with those who are around the age of children I might have had and who have asked for input in the past, I gave some suggestions for things to read and possible strategies for some aspects.

As the conversation continued, my friend mentioned the unnecessary quantity of unsolicited advice being offered. Oops, I thought, and checked to see if my suggestions had overstepped the mark.

They said what I offered was helpful and not like the advice that was troubling. I just offered techniques that might be helpful for navigating the circumstances more effectively. The unwelcome advice offered said what the outcome/choices should be.

I think about this fine balance and how that applies to sharing and leading practices.

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    Minding the Gap (and vinyasa krama)

    One meaning of the phrase vinyasa krama is “the yoga of sequencing.”  This is the art of knowing how to practice in an order that will be most optimal for where you are in space, time, and health in any given practice.  Part of a true practice of vinyasa krama, like beautifully played music or an exquisitely presented music, is the silences and the pauses.

    I’m sure you have all seen the “mind the gap” warning, the admonishment to notice the space between the train and the platform, the place where one thing ends and another begins.  In that case, it is presented as a warning of danger, but it also can be seen just as an exhortation to be mindful.

    When we are truly mindful of the space between things — both spatially and temporally — then we are better able to honor what has just come and to be open and conscious for what is to come.

    In our yoga practice, noticing the space between coming in and coming out of the pose helps keep us aligned in the transition and enables us to better reap and experience the benefits of the pose.  The reason we are advised always to practice savasana at the end of any practice is so that we will have a good pause between a practice and going back to our other activities.

    Off the mat, taking time to pause in between thoughts and activities, helps us appreciate little moments of joy during a busy day.  It also helps us sequence our day more optimally and can prevent mistakes and misalignments by giving us time to be more aware of what will work best next.

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    One Person’s Weeds

    Last year, some romaine lettuce must have bolted.  I have baby romaine lettuce coming up everywhere.  Having reverted to the wild, it is quite bitter.  It is also taking up a fair amount of space, so to be able to plant more appealing things (new herbs and greens) I will be pulling it up.  It has become, in essence, a weed.  Later in the year, I’ll also have a surfeit of volunteer epazote and purslane, which many would pull as weeds.  Those, I actively encourage, eating young the ones that come up over and over again through the bricks and confining in containers a few others to grow larger and to reseed.

    Even though it is too bitter to be palatable raw, the now “weed” romaine tastes fine cooked as a tender green.  So it does not get discarded.  I just won’t make myself eat it in its bitter form as the salad green that it is “supposed” to be.  Instead, since it is nourishing and tasty as a cooked green, it is a welcome early addition to the garden.

    Just I have challenges and tribulations from whatever is my overall plan for the garden, I have my share of aches, pains, challenges, and disappointments, in life and in my yoga practice.  The question is how to discriminate (viveka) among those that are poisonous, those that are bitter, and those that can be made nourishing and sweet, through the cooking of understanding, practice, and effort.

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    Thoughts About Wearing a Sari

    It is my understanding that unless I wear a sari, I will not be able to go into some of the places that are on the itinerary for the trip to India I will be joining. “Just think of it as playing dress-up,” suggested my sister when I told her the idea of wearing a sari perturbs me. It is not just feeling strange in foreign dress and having to expose that vulnerable fold of flesh at the waist (I have never even owned a bikini because of my discomfort in exposing my waist). What is unsettling me is that to witness what the men can witness while wearing comfortable clothing, the women must agree to wear confining, complicated, and cumbersome clothes. And the sari has come for centuries with the expectation that the woman demurely follows behind doing what she is told by the designated man.

    Peace and light, E — Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

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    “Hugging to the Midline” (and discipline/discipleship)

    Last night in group practice a student asked what she could do to keep her standing leg upper thigh/outer groin from cramping in ardha chandra chapasana (sugar cane pose).  I responded that she probably was not using her inner thighs enough; she need to hug more to the midline.  Another student pointed out that it is very challenging to hug to the midline in an asymmetrical pose.

    Anyone who studies Anusara yoga has heard the teacher say “hug to the midline.”   The physical instructions most often given to help the student do so, are “shins in” (coupled with “thighs back and apart”) or “isometrically draw your heels/feet together” (or hands in an arm balance or elbows/forearms in pincha mayurasana or sirsasana).  “Hugging to the midline” is one of the three aspects of “muscular energy,” the second of the five “Universal Principles of Alignment” in Anusara yoga.

    To help find the midline in an asymmetrical  pose, I invited the students to do a partner exercise in ardha chandrasana (balancing half moon pose).  One student went into the pose.  The other student stood behind the one in the pose and place a hand or forearm underneath the lifted ankle of the student in the pose.  The student in the pose then pressed down energetically into her friend’s support.  The student was then able to find how to do “shins in” with the lifted leg.  What all the students discovered was that by working with far more enthusiasm and power to the midline, it was much easier to open the heart into a deep back bend in the pose.  As it was a backbending practice, we also explored the principle in various one-legged backbends, including eka pada ustrasana (one-legged camel pose) and eka pada urdva danurasana (one -legged wheel pose).  The students who might not otherwise have been able to find these poses, discovered that if they hugged with heartfelt enthusiasm to the midline, they found an ability to do a pose that they might otherwise have thought beyond their reach.

    This alignment principle was a perfect way to illustrate the theme of the practice, which was discipline as discipleship to the light (see yesterday’s blog post).  All of the alignment principles in Anusara yoga are designed to get us deeper into our hearts; it is an added benefit that they make us stronger, more flexible, more secure in our bodies, healthier, and more energetic.  Hugging to the midline will definitely help us engage our core muscles, thus giving us more strength and tone.  As an energetic matter, hugging to the midline draws us into the central channel, the sushumna nadi — the place of grace where the kundalini energy rises.

    When we are practicing sincerely, we are not just seeking to achieve a pose or get stronger or even to have kundalini experiences.  We do not discipline ourselves for some external goal.  Rather, out of the deepest longing to connect, we engage the principles to align our energetic and physical bodies so that we can be more in the flow and find more capacity to soften and expand our hearts and carry that into our lives, lifestyles, and relationships.  The physical practice can show us how this works, and then, when we are aware, pulses us back to our true desire.  More than the physical act of hugging to the midline makes it easier to do a heart-opener (backbend) and the energetic act of drawing to the midline may stimulate the flow of the kundalini energy, the discipline of drawing in to find the light will help us soften and expand the heart center so that we can reside more deeply there, and thus experience and share more joy, love, and compassion.

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    An Example of How Budget Problems Can Help the Environment (and It’s An Ill-Wind That Blows No Good)

    Here’s the text of an email we received earlier in the week from building management:

    As a result of sequestration, effective Friday, March 8th the Frances Perkins Building (FPB) Facilities Management Office will be modifying the hours of operation for the FPB heating and cooling systems to achieve required savings detailed in OASAM’s sequestration plan.   Normally, the FPB heating and cooling systems are operational for 14 hours, from 5:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. daily.  In order to achieve the reductions required by the sequestration, the FPB hours of operation for the heating and cooling will be adjusted to the General Services Administration standard 10-hour operating day, from 7:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m., Monday through Friday. 

    We encourage you to prepare for the building being cooler/hotter in the morning and evening hours by:

    –making sure that window blinds are opened or closed appropriately to maximize the sun’s effect,

    –leaving private office doors open to maximize air circulation, and

    –dressing appropriately, layered clothing that can be added or removed during the day.

    We appreciate your cooperation as we implement these sequestration-driven cost reductions.

    We apologize for any inconvenience.

    Here’s what I wrote back (restraining myself from noting that when President Obama called upon federal workers to make suggestions for how to save money two years ago, I suggested that we change the dress code and the building temperature to reflect the season, not some outdated notion of what is “professional” dress and was resoundingly ignored):

    This is fantastic news.  I have long advocated making the inside temperature more consistent with the outside weather for our health and for the environment.  I hope that you will keep a policy of spending less money and precious fossil fuels on heating and cooling even if the budget picture improves.

    I’m thinking that building management doesn’t usually get positive feedback.  😉