Labor Day Weekend Walkabout


This afternoon I was having a conversation about cats with a co-worker. “Why do they prefer the plastic construction tarp (I was having a damaged ceiling repaired) to all the more comfortable locations around the house?” I wondered.
I showed her the silly cat photo:
My friend started scrolling through the photos on my phone. She stopped at a heart-shaped cloud and said she liked it. I told her that I regularly post photos of heart shapes I notice as I go about my day. I said that it is a reminder to myself to be open-hearted (but with boundaries) as I live each day.
She said that she noticed heart shapes, too. She said that there had been a some kind of food or drink spill in the file room–she was sure that no one would have cleaned it up–that was a perfect heart shape.
We went to the file room. Yes, there it was, a sticky heart.
This morning, a friend suggested that if he took into account the needs of others when making plans, all he would be doing is serving others, and he would never get to do what he wants. “Why would I want to do that?” he asked.
I think that’s a common enough question in this society. By uncanny coincidence, the teabag I selected right after the question was posed suggested a possible answer.
As we are taught by the stories of the monkey deity Hanuman, whose main characteristic is a longing for devotion that he demonstrates (while still being utterly himself) through service (seva) cultivating mindful relationship is the highest service to our own self and not just to those with whom we are in relationship.
To take care of our selves can be done with consideration of others without sacrificing our own needs. The answer, I think, is in how we assess and balance our own needs. For me, when I consider the impact of my planning on others with whom I am in relationship as well as my own needs, for example, of freedom, autonomy, and personal delight, I am also considering my needs for companionship, mutuality, connection, and respect. If I completely privilege the former, I may be neglecting the latter and vice versa.
Why would we celebrate “goddess ” only once a year, but be expected to be devoted to “god ” every day.
Every day is women’s day.
