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On the Bus
Shortly after I took this picture, a young couple came and sat down in the two seats in the photo, which are at the back of the bus — they were the only seats together. The couple just sat down quietly and held hands; they weren’t even talking. The woman in the corner immediately sat upright and began cursing at them. She threatened them with calling the police because they were harassing her by following her. The bus driver, who was having a hard enough time dealing with cars cutting in and out of lanes in the stop and go traffic jam created by the Marine Corps Marathon street closings, advised her to calm down. She got louder and louder. The woman in front of me kept turning around to stare. I sat quietly, trying to send soothing energy. The bus driver suggested to the woman that the police were located just around the corner. He said he’d stop so that she could go get the police. “No, no,” she cried, “we are almost at my stop. I’ll be quiet,” and she became completely still and quiet. At the next stop, she stayed on and a few other people got off, so that the couple was able to find a seat elsewhere on the bus. For the rest of the trip, even with people standing, these three seats stayed open. Later, I went up front to ask the driver what exactly was the route for the marathon detour. It turned out to be a good detour for where I was going. I commended the driver on how quickly he calmed down the woman, acknowledging what a challenge it is to be a metrobus driver. He obviously appreciated my simple gesture (mostly people just criticize bus drivers) and shared a few recent stories. When I got off, I thanked him and wished him a good day.John Friend on “The Art of Feedback”
I recently had a project that I did in connection with an organization of which I am a member. The ultimate goal of the project was for me to transmit to another group a report of decisions made by the organization of which I am a member. When I emailed my report, I “cc’d” my organization’s list serve. In response, there were a few heated postings on the list serve about the subject matter, even though I had sent a “cc” of a final report, not a request for new input. These postings in turn generated a number of emails both sent to me personally and postings on the list serve as a whole. The “secondary” emails were as much about how we were responding and communicating on the list serve, as they were about the subject matter itself.
It was hard for me to soften and to listen without defensiveness the emails that were well-intentioned, but stated strong opinions that could have been interpreted as suggesting the report was wrong or inadequate. As I made an effort to finish my project from a place of service, which in my mind included appropriately addressing the after-the-fact postings and emails, I was deeply grateful for the teaching John Friend had offered last year to the Anusara yoga community on “The Art of Feedback.” It is an inspired teaching and one that applies with equal force to the situation I was in this week.
For me, this is a deeply challenging area based on my personal history, but I work to grow. What are your challenges in receiving and giving feedback? How might shifts in how you receive and offer your opinions enhance your relationships and your goals for living and society?
From Last Saturday in Front of the White House
Got sick right after and so did not post then. More coincidence than correlation. At the Capitol, the energy includes those giving their all for truth, decency, fairness, inclusion, etc. At the White House there is no balance.




