Signs Around Town (and Chinnamasta?)
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Fraying at the Seams (and Samskaras)
I have spent most of the last three days working from home so that I could be on site while repairs ensuing from the earthquake and hurricane were done. I’ve been luckier than most in the path. The damages I sustained from these extreme forces of nature can all can be repaired with relative ease. The leak in the living room was from gaps between the house and the windowsill and the porch roof and the house. The leaks in the upstairs bathroom were from screws attaching the skylight to the roof having been shaken loose. The 100-year old gutter pulled away from the house and sprang some leaks, but can get wait another year or so with just being patched instead of replaced. The cracks in the brick and the mortar dislodged and completely washed away call for repointing before winter, but that was going to have to be done in the next five or six years anyway. Several more things got loosened or lifted up or away from where they were supposed to be, but that is why god made caulk guns and foam sealant in spray cans.
What I find interesting about looking at the damage is that the worst of it was at places that previously required repairs during my 21+ years in the house; some of these, based on the way the ceilings had already bulged or cracked when I moved in were evidently chronic trouble spots perhaps since the house was built. Why those places? It could be the soil on which the house sits, the direction it faces, the activities of neighbors, the presence and absence of trees around the house, the minor, but daily tremor caused by the D6 bus. If something was going to come apart at the seams in the house, it is not surprising it came apart where it is inclined to come apart and even less surprising that Hurricane Irene created more damage because the house was already fraying at the seams because of the earthquake (and the continuing aftershocks). The places that came apart under stress were the places where the old repairs did not reintegrate fully into the integrity of the design and function of the house. Those are still are the vulnerable spots, the places most likely to come apart in a blizzard or a hurricane or an earthquake. The better and more thoughtfully integrated into the rest of the structure of the house a repair, though, the more likely it is to cease to be a spot for future repairs. Some old repairs that were done mindfully have ceased even to be remembered as places where a repair was required.
The same sort of pulling apart at the edges, at the weak spots, at the less than optimal repairs of old injuries, as happened with the house in the past few weeks, happens to me when challenges and opportunities for personal growth pile on, as they have been doing for me for the past several weeks, starting with things wholly unrelated to the weather. Although I am taking things in stride and with ever more flexibility and openness the more I practice, I can feel my familiar default setting–anxiety and sadness–emerging at the stress points. None of the personal things that had come up before the earthquake and hurricane, nor the impact of both and the preparation for the latter, alone would have been enough to shake me up much. As they become a basketful, though, I can feel my old tendencies closer to the surface with each thing that gets added into the experience.
Just like the places where the house tends to come apart, my tendency to get anxious and the triggers for the anxiety are familiar spots. They have been there for decades. Perhaps they came from another life. For the house, the original spots may have started with the materials–the character of the trees and stones and mud and ore out of which the house was built. Some of my stress points I recognize in my parents and my grandparents whether or not they come from previous lives of my own, some are related to my physical make-up, some from the exact place and time of my birth.
These tendencies of ours are samskaras — the ingrained patterns that are the results from our actions, impressions — some deeper than others — in the very fabric of our being that shape how we behave and respond to what comes, thus creating more samskaras. The more we respond in our habitual way, the more imbedded become the samskaras and the more they keep us from being conscious of and aligned with the fullness of being. One of the key benefits of practicing (meditation and other practices) is to lessen how impressionable we are, that is, to make it so that new stresses do not deepen old patterns or create additional patterns that take us out of alignment with the flow of being.
As I feel old stuff getting churned up, I seek to dissolve and benignly release it through my practices, while steadily, and as mindfully as I can, doing what needs to be done to get on with this fully-engaged householder life at this wild time. It is one of my intentions to practice sufficiently so that I will be able to be in the flow and respond in the highest no matter what comes. There will likely be more and greater challenges than what I have already in this lifetime experienced.
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Autumn Greetings–Web Version of E-Newsletter
Dear Friends,
Yesterday, after I was done working and back on my personal computer and before I went to lead the Tuesday night yoga practice at William Penn House, I wrote to President Obama. I write to the President and others in power on a not infrequent basis. How can one not participate in the conversation if one spends so much time engaging in energetic and spiritual practices that reveal at an elemental level just how intertwined and interdependent we are with each other and the environment?
I told President Obama that I would be one of the over 800,000 workers who would not be permitted to work while work needs to be done and probably not get paid if we were furloughed due to an impasse on the budget. I wrote that I’d rather he stand strong on the Affordable Care Act and a budget that takes care of the environment and those in need and emphasizes diplomacy over military action even if that might mean I would be furloughed. Relatively easy for me to say. By good fortune, I have not had any major family or medical expenses that would significantly impact savings and budget. By careful planning and persistent living within my means for all of my adulthood, it would be some time before I would be seriously detrimentally impacted by not working. I know that many of my colleagues have family or health challenges that would make the loss of even a few days pay a significant budget issue. My heart goes out to them, and I hope that they are speaking out about how the situation impacts them and that it doesn’t come to that.
Considering the issues presented by the budget impasse led me to contemplate again how we decide when and and in what manner to weigh in on decision or action by the communities of which we are a part. I’ve also been asking myself how do we find the most insightful and generous balance of self and collective interest and live most gracefully in these turbulent and frightening times. How do we best engage and also take care of ourselves? It would be pretty great to have a diet steady in healthy nourishment, enough sleep, love for ourselves and our loved ones, fulfilling work, basic safety of life and limb, access to healing when we are sick or injured, sufficient education to make informed decisions as to our own and our collective well-being, and the will, time, and opportunity to take care of our body and mind through meditative and physical practices or otherwise that suit our temperment and physical make-up. It would be even greater if the hundreds of millions with whom we are in relationship also had these things.
Most of us don’t have all of these things, even those of us fortunate enough to have them if we made different choices. How do we find more energy to act and engage in a way that supports the healthiest outcome for all when our own well-being is strained by repeated challenges and how we deal with the limitations of time and space? For me dealing with my own recent challenges, yoga asana is feeling especially good right now. Asana feels embracing, energizing, grounding, balancing and is definitely helping me make it through the day. I hope that whatever life is bringing you at this time you are making time to practice and that what you’ve studied and what you are practicing serve you well.
For the company and the encouragement, to learn new skills and to refine basic ones, and to support those in need in a unique way, please come join us when you can for the all-levels Tuesday night group practice at William Penn House. Since late this summer, 100 percent of the proceeds go directly to support William Penn House’s workcamp program–a wonderful model for service (in yoga — seva), On Wednesday nights, a small more experienced group also gets together with me to practice in my home studio. Email me if you are interested.
For those of you who like to plan ahead, I want to let you know that the annual Thanksgiving Day Fundraiser to benefit Oxfam is back on Capitol Hill this year, and I am delighted that William Penn House is hosting the practice:
When: Thanksgiving Day, Thursday, November 28, 2013.
Location: William Penn House, 515 East Capitol Street, SE, Washington, DC 20003.
Time: 10:00 a.m.-11:15 a.m.
Yoga Details:
- All levels class. Just how we will align and flow to get the energy moving and supporting us will depend on who comes and how many, but be sure that it will be designed to be simultaneously soothing and energizing to help you bring your best self to the formal start of the winter holidays. Alternatives will be provided for those working with challenges of embodiment. Advanced variations may also be offered to expand the experience of the abundance of the day.
- For Most Ages–Children old enough to pretty much stay on their own yoga mat and enjoy trying the grown up poses–depends on the child–are welcome, and then it’s all ages up from there.
- Props. We have plenty of blocks, straps, and chairs; a modest supply of blankets; and a limited number of loaner mats. Please bring your own mat if you have one and any other props you may need (such as multiple blankets). Donations of your no longer used props are welcome.
Benefit for Oxfam: Suggested donation $20. As in most of the previous years I have offered this class, I will collect checks made out directly to Oxfam, America (preferred) or cash; you could also make an on-line donation before the class. I will then forward 100 percent of what is contributed to Oxfam, America. I also will match any individual donations over $20 up to $200. As always, the amount is suggested; whatever is within your means is a sufficient amount.
No Advance Registration. Just show up at the door. Though I enjoy the spontaneity of teaching whomever appears, the more the advance knowledge I have of who plans to attend and how many, the better I can design the class to suit more of your needs and desires. I welcome your letting me know by commenting on the Rose Garden Yoga page on Facebook or by sending me an email (click here to go to the welcome page of the blog and then click on “contact Elizabeth”).
I look forward to practicing together or otherwise being in touch and hope that all of you are as well as is possible.
Peace and light,
Elizabeth
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Found Exhortation (and Tapas)
What does it mean to excel, to do well? I think there is no excelling in yoga, at least not the way we conventionally think of excelling in school or career or sports. But to practice in a way that is more than casual, there must be ardor–tapas.
Tapas is often translated as fire, and the texts are full of stories of outrageous physical exertions done to prove the tapas of the practitioners looking for boons from the gods.
There is a fiery aspect to tapas, but I question whether it must necessarily be burning from physical exertion, though that is a path that calls out to many.
The fire of tapas could be thought of as doing what it takes to manifest the will to know something deeply enough to be able to experience the fluency and grace and delight of expertise. It could be the ardor to show up in a disciplined and committed way for hours and days and years of practice, always still wanting deeper, fuller knowing.
Beginner’s Mind
After practicing for a long time, it can be hard to remember the enthusiasm of new beginnings. Sometimes taking a break is good. And rereading. And studying with those who are bringing the insights from those who have come to teach with the perspective of the generation after me.
