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    A Memory of My Grandmother

    My Grandma Rose (for whom the name of this blog is partly in tribute) was a very important part of my childhood. She had a small, but lovely apartment in Brooklyn Heights, and I spent about a weekend a month for most of my childhood with her. One day when the family was visiting and I was no more than seven or eight, I took a carton of her cigarettes and destroyed them. She was very angry, and I got in a lot of trouble with my parents for the deed. I had just learned in school about all the horrors of smoking (that was the very early years of starting to admit and warn of the hazards of smoking), and I wanted to protect her.

    When my grandmother died at age 76 from her heart unexpectedly stopping, I was in 10th grade. They found she had advanced stages of emphysema. Occasionally I wonder how my life would have been different and think about how much she would have enjoyed seeing me grow up if the smoking had not shortened her life.

    Although I was too young to know that we cannot change our loved ones by force or even by the force of our love, I hope she knew that my childish act of destruction was borne from love.

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    Firefly Tattoo?

    I was looking at an age spot on my forearm the other day and wondered whether I should get a tattoo to cover or incorporate it.  “Something small and modest, but with meaning,” I thought.  “Something that would not admit to the original reason.  Perhaps a realistic version of the smallest of butterflies.”  Then I thought without any apparent trigger, “what about a firefly?”  When they are not lit up, they look like the kind of bug we would swat at or try to avoid, but at night, when the firefly glows, it is magic.

    How many things are there that seem ordinary or even distasteful until we open our eyes, our minds, and our hearts to see their full and true essence?

    I do not know whether I will get the tattoo.  But I hope that those that can (those with backyards) will take a few simple steps to make a home for some fireflies.

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    “Beginner’s Mind” (and vikalpa samkara)

    Vikalpa samskara is a term that describes the fundamental process of an ever refining yoga practice.  It encompasses both study of text (with a teacher) and experiential learning and practice.  With just experience, we may feel full unto ourselves, but we cannot explain the richness of our experience to others nor can we understand why.  If we just hear something from a teacher or see a picture or read about it in a book, however, no matter how book smart we are, we do not have the understanding that comes from personal experience.  It is by continuously combining and refining study and practice, that we can have a progressive deepening of true knowledge.

    We often talk about “beginner’s mind” with respect to asana practice and meditation (and bringing the beauty of that state off of the mat).  We are invited to be receptive and open the way is an ideal beginner, who wants to learn, but does not yet know the topic.

    What does “beginner’s mind” really mean, though, in the context of someone who is experienced?  I do not believe that it should mean discarding either book learning or discrimination built of experience.  What it suggests to me is to approach our practice and life with freshness, with open-mindedness, without being bound by preconceived notions.  I think this is the true process of vikalpa samskara. To be able to deepen our knowledge ever more deeply, we have to be willing to be open to shifts and changes in understanding.  Then “samskara” does not become a rut, a bad habit, the inevitable effect from a previous action, but the development of a deepening path for more refined understanding.

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    Quote of the Moment (and Happy Birthday Anusara)

    Today is the 13th anniversary of Anusara yoga being officially named Anusara yoga. I am filled with love and gratitude for John Friend and all my friends and teachers who are sharing this extraordinary practice.

    In thanks for the delighted and celebratory invitation to the practice, which for me is a hallmark of the Anusara offering, I share this quote:

    “The more the yogi practices, the more visible everything becomes (yavad idam sarvam drstam).” Vedavyasa, quoted in David Gordon White, Sinister Yogis.

    Peace and light, E — Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

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