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Healing (and the Garden)

After sitting for meditation and writing in my journal this morning, I went out in the garden in my slippers to see what opened after yesterday’s juicy rains.  My journal-writing is feeling lonely because that was one of the times Becky (and Henrietta before her) and I always sat together.  Once I was in the garden, though, my heart lightened.  The beans and snow peas I planted a couple of weeks ago finally have started germinating.  Some of the seedlings I planted on Saturday have already doubled in size.  There are a few buds on the peppers that were not there Sunday and twice as many leaves on the basil.  The clematis seems to be a foot taller; is that possible?  (The okra still has not germinated; will it ever appear?  I do not know, not having tried okra from seed in a container in my yard before.)

Though, as my sister said to me on Sunday, I will always miss Becky and Henrietta, I appreciate that my grieving is in the time of renewal, new life, and expanding light, and that I can spend the morning time that I used to devote to Becky and Henrietta nurturing the garden and myself in the process.

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    Whether It Feels Too Soon or Not (Day Light Savings Time Is Arriving)

    It still does not seem right to have daylight savings time start before the equinox.  I remember it used to be the first night I cooked outside.  Now it is always too cool and not quite light enough, and my morning meditation goes back to finishing before it is light.  Whether it matches with the weather or my mood, though, it is here this weekend.  I’ve had a much more intense work week than usual, which is resulting only partly from having been out of town for the previous week.  The coming weekend promises to be very full (assuming all goes as anticipated) with teaching my own class and studying with Ross Rayburn up at Willow Street both Saturday and Sunday, trying to go out to see some friends dance Saturday night, going to the contact improv jam on Sunday, and then having dinner with neighbors.

    To try and not get too off cycle by getting a socially induced equivalent of jet lag, I am starting to get ready for bed an hour early tonight and planning to get to the office before 8 tomorrow morning.  Try doing the same things you would do if changing time zones.  Get plenty of rest, drink lots of fluids, keep down the caffeine intake and if you really want to have caffeine, make sure you stop drinking it earlier in the day than usual; have any protein in the morning and then dine lightly on grains and vegetables in the late afternoon or early evening.  Don’t eat anything heavy at night.  That way you will have energy when you wake up too early and be sleepy when it is time to go to bed way before you think it is.

    And most important, use the change in time as an opportunity to celebrate the respective joys of shadow and light by having extra attention brought to them whether you will it or not.  It is always exciting the first night, particularly if it is warmish and bright as is in the forecast, that it stays light unnaturally late.

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    Negation, Affirmation (and a new yard sign)

    I went to a delightful brunch yesterday hosted by friend and neighbor K, who lives on the other side of the Hill.  A number of the guests turned out to live within a couple of blocks of me on the Northeast side.  In describing my house to those who lived farther from the Capitol than I (knowing my block was part of their usual walking path), I said, “mine is the one with the ‘War is not the answer‘” yard sign.  “Oh yes, I know which one it is,” was the uniform response.

    K said she did not have the yard sign because she did not want a negative message in her front yard.  It served its purpose for a time, she claimed, but she wanted a more positive message.  I replied that if the sign said “peace is the answer” it would not have the same p0litical meaning.  People would just think, “yes, peace is nice, but whatever,” and keep walking.  We all agreed that was likely, but I left still thinking about the conversation.

    One of the reasons K gave for wishing to turn the sign on its head, was she did not want something renunciatory, and she referenced the principle of “negation” in Buddhism.  I knew what she meant.  Advaita vedanta has a phrase, “neti, neti” or “not this, not this” which means extinguishment of the individual self and a life of the senses and mind to unite with the ultimate Spirit.  The Buddhist “nirvana”  literally means “void.”  I did not engage the conversation in such a way as to bring it to tantra lest I go too far in the direction of yoga geekiness, but the conversation certainly led me to think in that direction.  Tantra seeks to do exactly what K was seeking:  to turn the phrase, “not this, not this” into an embrace that will reveal truth and light by means of affirmation rather than negation.

    Interestingly, though, I think a possible inspiration for K’s yard sign dilemma could come from from Buddhism:  metta meditation (note:  I have been offered this meditation in various settings and have practiced it many times, but it is not my regular meditation practice, so I hope I am not misinterpreting or mischaracterizing it here).  The theory behind metta meditation is to distance one from anger to cultivate calm.  In this creation of calm comes a general demeanor of loving kindness and compassion.  I personally become calmer by embracing and aligning with all my emotions, including grief and anger, but still find the languaging of the metta practice beautifully inspiring.

    In that spirit, I suggest as a possible rewording of the yard sign that still serves the political message, the call to serve:   “may all beings be free from war.”

    Or maybe FCNL should make a sign with the query:  “what do I do in my life to remove the causes of war?” Is that still a negative, if we are calling for positive actions to remove causes?

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    Because It Was a Beautiful Night

    It was a beautiful night, so I went for a longish walk after work. I found myself drawn to the two “Occupy DC” locations — Freedom Plaza and McPherson Square (shown). If it had been cold and cloudy, as it will be later in the week, would I have chosen to be out instead of in my nice house with the cats and a home-cooked meal and a good book? Most likely I would pick home, but still I go out of my way to witness every week or so and to remember that these are real people and this isn’t a one-night stand on only a nice night. I go to witness people who are living the courage of their convictions, to be inspired to serve in my own way, and to ask myself what more I should be doing. I know people questioning the way and the whether and the why of this movement, including those who are sympathetic, but questioning is a form of engaging and is a stage in expansion.

    Peace and light, E — Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

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