When feeling overwhelmed by the state of things, I’ve been trying to look for comfort not with the “old normal” methods, but in positive possibilities for the future–building community and sharing sustainable nourishment.
I recently had a project that I did in connection with an organization of which I am a member. The ultimate goal of the project was for me to transmit to another group a report of decisions made by the organization of which I am a member. When I emailed my report, I “cc’d” my organization’s list serve. In response, there were a few heated postings on the list serve about the subject matter, even though I had sent a “cc” of a final report, not a request for new input. These postings in turn generated a number of emails both sent to me personally and postings on the list serve as a whole. The “secondary” emails were as much about how we were responding and communicating on the list serve, as they were about the subject matter itself.
It was hard for me to soften and to listen without defensiveness the emails that were well-intentioned, but stated strong opinions that could have been interpreted as suggesting the report was wrong or inadequate. As I made an effort to finish my project from a place of service, which in my mind included appropriately addressing the after-the-fact postings and emails, I was deeply grateful for the teaching John Friend had offered last year to the Anusara yoga community on “The Art of Feedback.” It is an inspired teaching and one that applies with equal force to the situation I was in this week.
For me, this is a deeply challenging area based on my personal history, but I work to grow. What are your challenges in receiving and giving feedback? How might shifts in how you receive and offer your opinions enhance your relationships and your goals for living and society?
Ten years ago today I was in Peru”s sacred valley. I was walking the spiral meditation garden at the retreat center where I was staying when the owner called out to me, “America has been attacked! The others said you would want to know, that we should not wait until you were done with your meditation.” Completely shocked by this summons, I left the spiral by walking across it and followed her into her private home to see the news on CNN via satellite. I felt incredibly, intensely far from home, especially since by mere happenstance none of my fellow travelers were Americans.
Today, I am again thousands of miles from home, having flown on United from Dulles airport to San Francisco, though obviously, California is not nearly as far away from many perspectives. As with my journey to Peru, my trip to California this week is partly to serve my continuing inner journey, partly outward exploration and appreciation, and partly birthday celebration (not on the 11th).
One of the things that was so remarkable about the immediate aftermath of 9/11 witnessed from abroad was how friendly and sympathetic people were who otherwise were not disposed to think kindly of Americans. What an opportunity we had as a country to embrace global unity. What a chance we missed by instead going guns blazing into these obscene wars. We now have to live wih what we have done and start fresh. What can we do to seek peace now? I am working hard from a personal perspective, and I am much more at peace with myself than I was 10 years ago. I have a friend who would tell me that I am only responsible for myself and not for the whole of society, but I wish I could come up with a great and global workable plan of action that would move us towards peace and away from war, but I have not found one yet. In the meantime I will try my best on a personal level because that I can do.
Peace and light, E — Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.
This morning, a friend suggested that if he took into account the needs of others when making plans, all he would be doing is serving others, and he would never get to do what he wants. “Why would I want to do that?” he asked.
I think that’s a common enough question in this society. By uncanny coincidence, the teabag I selected right after the question was posed suggested a possible answer.
As we are taught by the stories of the monkey deity Hanuman, whose main characteristic is a longing for devotion that he demonstrates (while still being utterly himself) through service (seva) cultivating mindful relationship is the highest service to our own self and not just to those with whom we are in relationship.
To take care of our selves can be done with consideration of others without sacrificing our own needs. The answer, I think, is in how we assess and balance our own needs. For me, when I consider the impact of my planning on others with whom I am in relationship as well as my own needs, for example, of freedom, autonomy, and personal delight, I am also considering my needs for companionship, mutuality, connection, and respect. If I completely privilege the former, I may be neglecting the latter and vice versa.
Feathered visitors when I was out in the garden early before the heat got too oppressive.
A number of years ago I had a conversation with a cherished friend and co-worker who is no longer in this body. I was explaining to her the yoga practice of samtosha (contentment), which is one of the five niyamas that make up the second limb of the eight-limbed path of yoga set forth in Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras. My friend said it felt like a great revelation to think of contentment as a practice. She had thought of it as a state you were either lucky enough to have — or not.
Many states or characteristics or attitudes that we tend to think of as only being innate characteristics or good fortune can be cultivated.
Wearing an exhortation on a t-shirt might not necessarily be my style, but I do agree kindness is worthy of cultivation when it does not happen spontaneously.
Peace and light, E — Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.
