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    In the Midst of the Turmoil

    On Saturday, along with a few thousand other people, I went to the March for Our Lives at the base of the Washington monument.  Set out before the monument, in even rows, were thousands of vases of white and orange flowers (orange for the most recent) hundreds deaths from gun violence.  it was raining off and on; the speakers were on a platform with loud audio-video, people held signs–some expressing rage, discuss, and frustration, some suggesting productive action.  Near the vases, apart from the crowd and the noise, a person dressed in purple sat in meditation.  After spending some time in the crowd and focussing on the speakers, I went and joined the person who was sitting.  We talked a bit; Satyani acts as a “mindfulness mentor” and can be found on Facebook as “Kosmique Light Meditation.”  Satyani did not identify as a protester and felt uncomfortable fighting and felt moved to act, which was what led to coming and sitting for meditation.  I suggested, referencing Gandhi and Quaker practices, that being here meditating, holding the space, connecting with those who have died while being present for the living is very much participating in protesting.

    On Sunday (before going down to the Capitol Pride Festival), I took a class on Zoom with Michele Cassandra Johnson for Patreon subscribers.  She offered a soothing/cooling practice, and invited us to consider how we can cultivate cooling and soothing while saying amidst the fire and engaged in the fight?

    To stay in it for the intensity it is now and the life-long practice it must be, that is an essential question, the answer to which will shift depending on circumstances.

    Pictures from the March for Our Lives, the Capitol Pride Festival, and some fabulous bird sightings at Kingman and Heritage Island the Friday before, are posted on Instagram and Facebook.

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    It Doesn’t Matter At All, But It Matters A Lot

    I am in the middle of reading a book about a movement/organization centered on one of those forms of meditation that was brought to the West by an Eastern spiritual leader and drew millions of followers around the globe in the 1960’s and 70’s and beyond. One of the things in the book reminded me of something said to me several years ago by a long-time practitioner of a similar practice, with a different leader. This practitioner had said, as if he had discovered an actual truth for his meditation practice, that he had learned from the organization and movement that as long as one meditated, it was OK to be a jerk. At the time, I had two reactions: (1) surely that cannot be right; and (2) it is such statements that make people at best skeptical of meditation and the kind of people who invite others to meditate.

    What triggered this memory was a statement in the book, attributed to the spiritual leader, that it does not matter what you do to make the world better if you are not also working on yourself.

    Taken literally, I suppose someone who behaves like a jerk and an irresponsible and callow citizen could use it to feel good about himself for meditating and continuing not to care about relationships to others and the planet, but I do not think that was the intent of the teaching.

    The yoga teachings require us to work on ourselves, which includes how we are in relationship to the world. If we are trying to “do good” for the world, but still treat ourselves and our intimates badly, we will not be the best we can be because we will still be far from individual enlightenment. In that limited sense, it does not matter if we are a “do gooder,” but only in that very limited sense. Also, if we slip up and do something jerk-like, it is said that a guru (for those that have one), like a true friend or loving family member, would not reject a sincere devotee for the slip-up, but would just point again to where the practitioner needs to go on the path. The enlightened guru would still see the good in the devotee, however much work might remain for him or her.

    If we act like jerks and irresponsible and uncaring citizens we are not seeing the divine (whatever that means to you) in all beings and acting in recognition of that universal divinity, which is the point of the practices. We are also building up negative karma that imprints itself and makes our spiritual work that much more challenging. But we are not booted off the path, and we are still worthy of love if we slip up. Thus does it not matter; but truly, it matters a lot.

    Peace and light, E — Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

  • Listening (and laryngitis)

    For the past week, I have had laryngitis.  Obviously, this resulted in my being more selective about when I was going to speak and what I was going to say.  Less obvious, was that the limitations on speaking led me to listen more carefully.  Listening more carefully helped me choose what to say and when to speak.  At a surface level, this did not change whether I was analyzing or judging.  It just led me to be more discriminating.  As I pondered this issue, though, I found myself wanted to listen more freely, to try and listen first without analysis, without judgment, without any anticipated response.   This was, then, even a listening to my temporary limitation.  Not judging it, not lamenting it, not trying to change it (although I treated the cough and the sore throat), but listening to what was there.  This deep listening to the body, to events, to what comes to us (in conversation or otherwise), can lead us to the true deepness of meditation — true listening for how spirit speaks to us.

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    Dreams (and Maya)

    In classical yoga systems, we are taught that all the world is an illusion (maya) and the only thing that is “real” is Atman (spirit, the One).  I do not subscribe to that belief, but I do believe in the principle that is espoused in the Bhagavad Gita of actionless action — working because it is my nature to work, but accepting that I ultimately am not in charge of the results.  I thus can be fully engaged in my work, but be freer of anxiety, disappointment, and frustration or overcharged attachment to pleasure and success.  From a tantric perspective, I believe it is all real and full and something to be experienced as part of the marvelous complexity of being.

    This principle carries over into my relationship to my dreams.  I have always had extremely vivid and present dreams most nights.  Sometimes, like last night, my dreams are full of convoluted challenges and difficulties that could be filled with anxiety.  I used to chew on dreams like that through the day.  Now I wake up and think:  what an amazingly inventive mind I have.  Isn’t the subconscious fascinating?  I pay attention to what lessons might be in the dream  and let them release the dreams from holding on to my day.  As I get more skilled with meditation and yoga, I often can find this place of simultaneous engagement/non-engagement even while I am still dreaming.  This makes it so the dreams have no more hold on my ability to sleep or act than would watching a movie that raises challenging issues.

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