Reya Melliker

  • I Don’t Get It Either

    ByElizabeth

    My friend Reya blogs that she doesn’t get it–why people don’t get massages on a more regular basis.  Assuming one has enough money for the basic necessities of food and shelter, as Reya points out, I don’t get it either.  When I tell people that I have been getting massages at least twice a month for the last decade, I get all sorts of reactions, lack of money and time being high on the list.  I have had people, including those who claim to otherwise like touching and being touched, tell me that they don’t like getting massages.

    What’s not to like about getting a massage from a qualified professional?  I think it can be for any number of reasons.  Sometimes it is about a deep-seated discomfort with pleasure (and especially the pleasure associated with touch), which is unfortunately all too common in this society (despite the preoccupation with sex).  Discomfort with the idea of massage also can be about control.

    On the surface, getting a massage is all about being passive, about surrendering physically–albeit in a very benign way.   Allowing oneself to be in the role of pure recipient, though, is different than being passive or surrendering control.  The person receiving the massage, though not actually doing the touching, is the person in charge (So too, in yoga.  The person being assisted in a yoga pose  or receiving a therapeutic adjustment is in charge, not the person assisting or making the adjustment; it takes knowing how to be a recipient, though, to know how to offer the assist or adjustment).

    Even the most sensitive and compatible of massage therapists will need to be advised how you are doing on any particular day, whether any areas are feeling particularly sensitive, whether you feel the need for healing or energetic shifting in a particular area of your body.  It takes a deep sensitivity  and listening to the body and the energy field to know not just whether a massage feels good, but what could make it better.  For example, because I tend to bruise easily, deep tissue massage generally is not the right type of massage for me.  There are times, however, that something really deep needs to be rearranged and deep tissue, or even myofascial release, is the only thing that is going to be able to get at what is knotted or tangled or needs to be released.  Sometimes, just about any touch would feel invasive, and then I seek out reiki or other treatment that is more in the energetic than the physical field.

    I firmly believe that getting regular massages has truly enhanced my understanding of the physical and energetic body and has made me a far better yoga teacher–especially for students seeking therapeutic guidance from yoga.  As well as being a pleasure, receiving a massage is an opportunity to get to know the anatomy and connections of the body at the most sensitive of levels–if one is willing to and does pay attention.  And without deeply knowing one’s own body and its relationship to the outside world, including touch, how could one really be sensitive to what might be going on in another’s body?

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    Discomfort v. Pain

    ByElizabeth

    My friend Reya posted a good blog entry today on pain.  What John Friend says of pain is that it is nature’s way of showing that we are out of alignment.  I am in full agreement with Reya that intentionally causing ourselves pain is not what brings the most gain.

    We sometimes have to go into discomfort, though, to get out of pain, when we are practicing therapeutically.  What I tell my students, when they are seeking to use the physical practice of yoga to heal injuries, is that they want to practice mindfully enough to notice and back away from stabbing, pinching, tearing, or cramping sensations (you might think of other words to add to the list, but you get the idea).  On the other hand, intentionally embracing some level of therapeutic discomfort can be necessary to heal and grow.  An obvious non-yoga example is getting an operation to remove a tumor or fix something that is broken.  The operation is going to be a challenge, but it is better than not healing.

    If we are not used to holding poses for a long time or balancing on one foot or on our hands, our muscles may think they would rather slouch on the couch–though slouching on the couch may be what precipitated injury or ill-health in the first place.  The discomfort of working muscles more than we usually do, but to the right degree and in alignment, is radically different than the pain of forcing our body to do something beyond its current capacity that exacerbates existing injuries or causes new ones and does not sufficiently heed proper alignment.

    I invite you to practice slowly and with sufficient attention to know deeply whether you are just bringing on discomfort from right effort and changing old patterns that no longer serve or whether you are making yourself suffer for no real purpose.  No pose or distance or timing is worth injury, but healing and getting stronger and more flexible (as well as more courageous and expansive for what life brings to us) is most definitely worth some intentional discomfort.